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Captain
The Captain, '''or '''Zee Captain, is the main character of the webcomic Romantically Apocalyptic. Zee is the egocentric commander of the Crew, consisting of: Captain, Pilot, Sniper, and Engineer. Captain is quite eccentric, seems slightly unhinged, and yet is probably the last person anyone wishes to pick a fight with. The word "Zee" before the Captain's name is a stereotype of the German accent when saying "the". Background Captain's history is sketchy, at best. Captain claims to have been born "A little girl" in "Germany". Further, the Captain tells a story about the time zee was a child, when young Captain met a deranged man who wanted to "suck out Captain's precious eyeball juices with his straw". Captain refuses to share straws with anyone due to this incident. In that same story, the deranged man refers to Captain as a boy. Whether this is an inconsistency of the Captain's, or a commentary on the state of mind of the deranged man is unknown. Furthermore, Captain claims the incident happened 20 years back. Since the young Captain from the flashback looks hardly older than 10 years, this would mean that Captain is either in zir late 20s or early 30s. Unfortunately, Captain is a very unreliable source of information due to zeer illogical leaps of fantasy. What is confirmed is that Captain was the subject of''' 'Project 7',' which aimed to find the luckiest person on earth. Due to this, Captain was raised to the rank of a captain and was allowed access to ANNET's Core Room, where zee proceeded to spill hot tea on the servers. This caused ANNET to malfunction and attempt to reprogram or kill every human in existence. Dr. Gromov and a few others escaped presumably due to their admin privileges. How Captain escaped is unclear, but it was possibly due to zir trademark luck. While the Captain tends to speak with a Germanic Accent, it was noted by the Sniper that the Captain uses a voice changer, although for what reason is unknown as most of the population is gone to not warrant the need for one. Appearance Zee Captain is clad in a heavy, dark grey trenchcoat, black leather boots and black leather gloves. A shroud, a black gas mask with dual filters and purple goggles obscures zir face. A commander's hat rests upon zir head with a red band around it and a single, silver star ornament on the front side. Captain is nearly never seen without the trademark mug, which has been known to contain various liquids ranging from tea to water to sugary death water. Captain drinks by using a straw, without removing zir mask. Later, zee acquired what seems to be the flesh of the apocalyptic alien creature known as "Cancer", or the Biomatrix 117, and wears it as a scarf around zir neck. In the Ancestors Story Arc, The Captain temporarily lost all of zir headgear, including the scarf, but as the running gag with the Captain normally goes, any features suggesting zir true gender are hidden from view, including what the Captain's true face appears to be. Further in the arc, when Snippy crash lands on Captain, after falling from orbit, it appears that the still unmasked Captain's head is either invisible or that Captain has no face at all. Unfortunately, Snippy's hand is in the way and obscuring most of the view. Gender A running gag in the comic is the uncertainty about Captain's exact gender. Captain refers to zirself being a girl as well as a lad growing up, and in one comic Captain asks Sniper to "grab zir boob". The comic's creator posted on his blog that male actors, female actors, and even his wife model for Captain "so Zee Captain can be ALL genders!" Essentially canonically declaring Captain's gender to be "unspecified." It is seen in one of the comics, that Captain puts on and wears a red bra, though zee ''might just be a little crazy. Another hint that Captain might be a female appears in Snippy's blog entry from the time when her memories were read by the Biomass, however, these memories are jumbled so it might not be true: He refers to Pilot and Captain as 'the green-eyed man-child-robot' and 'the purple-eyed girl', respectively. According to Captain's song, in and of itself The Captain's version of the famous song "Que Sera Sera", the lines ♪We've altered your DNA, we've twisted your chromosomes!♪ might refer to the possibility that Captain was born female, but was changed to male, possibly for survival: ♪You'll outlive us all, you'll outlive us all!♪, as Captain certainly did, provided most of civilization is now dead and gone. Interestingly, though, zir voice is most definitively male. Personality The Captain is probably the second least sane of the crew, right behind Pilot . Zee Captain is fanciful and absent minded, but is also extremely hard to best - no matter how bad the situation seems to become, Captain has managed to escape a multitude of dangerous enemies, including an angry cult and a horde of Cancer-zombies - however, the latter was only thanks to the intervention of Sniper, who was captured as a result. Captain seems to suffer from a permanent Deus Ex Machina complex - no matter how bad the situation becomes, Captain is always able to save the day. It is likely that this is the primary trait which made zir a perfect candidate for Project 7. There have been hints that the Captain's insanity may be a ruse, or a way of hiding brilliance. While zee seems to (and at times definitely does) live in a fantasy realm, zee also seems to understand what is going on better than anyone, and the world seems to continue it's existance despite the number of times in the comic that it should have been destroyed. So there is speculation that the Captain has greater plans at work, hidden behind insanity. Skills and Equipment The Captain's primary weapon, if it can be called that, is the mug, filled with scalding to scorching hot coffee, tea or water. Zee has at least once used its incredibly hazardous contents to disable an alien robot. According to Snippy's journal, Captain has also used it to threaten subordinates into submission when they refused to carry out a particular mission. For a brief period, Captain was in possession of a slice of very stale - and presumably radioactive - cake. When threatened, Captain was able to throw this cake with enough force and accuracy to kill an alien invader by breaking through its helmet. Captain is also shown to have a "magic satchel", often pulling things, such as a mustache over zir gas mask, out of nowhere. Captain's face is a mystery; zee is one of the only two cast members who have not been unmasked, assuming Stalky counts as a cast member. However, it seems even the Captain's illusive face is a weapon, as zee caused an Alien's head to explode merely by the alien's gazing upon it. The Captain appears to be a living 404 Error. It seems impossible (at least for hostile aliens) to scan, detect or lock on Captain with technology. So far, the first group of alien invaders, the Biomatrix 117 and the Arbitrator all had the same problems finding or targeting Captain, and Annet's reprogrammed Pilot even calls the Captain "the untraceable one", hinting Annet couldn't find Captain either. According to Mr. Snippy's Geiger-counter, Captain is the single most radioactive object in the wasteland. Extensively, The Captain also seems to be able to defy the laws of everything. Incredibly, the Captain is able to stand before a black hole, unaffected by the vacuum. Zee apparently had drunk the vortex dry with the Straw. Zee was also able to save Sniper and the Biomatrix after they landed on zir, and was unaffected by it in any way. Captain has been established to be "the luckiest person in the universe," and nothing bad can happen to zir. And this incredible luck seems to be passed on to those close to zir, and those who spend a lot of time around zir. Snippy, Pilot, and Engie have all benefited from the side effects of Captain's luck and have survived impossible odds from nonsensical twists and deus ex machinas that seem to pop up around Captain. The Captain is also a "Living 404 Error" in that nothing can identify zir. Neither ANNET nor the Arbitrator seem able to identify zir, or possibly even verify zir existence. The Captain shows up as not existing, despite the fact that zee is on the world in some form. The Mug The Captain's mug has, as of , shown to be an assassin hired by an unknown party to kill the Captain along with several other (probably robotic) objects, namely a ladybug and the straw. It is unknown if Captain knows about this or not. This is another display of Captain's constant luck. Even such a powerful force such as the Mug was incapable of killing zir, stating that "it needed more time." The Mug was even able to destroy one of the highest authorities of the Union (the Arbitrator, who even had the authority to summon a black hole to consume the planet) instantly. Category:Characters